It’s one of those deep-sounding questions people wonder as if it’s up there with the great unknowns like “What’s the real meaning of life?” or “How do I really know I’m loved?”.
But it’s not really that hard to figure out.
If you ever find yourself sincerely asking “Why do I seem to attract so many manipulating people who end up hurting me?”
Than the good news is, this article is for you - the bad news is the answer is exactly what you thought - and yes it’s also the most obvious thing you kept hoping was somehow not true.
It’s true.
You keep getting hurt by good people who turn out to be bad people - BECAUSE EMPATHETIC, CARING, LOVING, LOYAL, FORGIVING PEOPLE ARE THE MOST EASILY MANIPULATED, EGO-FEEDING, RESOURCE PROVIDING, LONG-TERM, WILLINGLY SIGN UP AS REPEATED VICTIMS ON THE ENTIRE PLANET…
…by far.
Not because they’re stupid, but because by human nature they assume early in life that everyone thinks, feels, and reacts the as they do.
They have trouble really believing there are normal-looking, somewhat normal- acting, “fully functioning in many external ways” people close to them actually have some very dark motives - even evil intentions.
Even when they have endless mountains of evidence proving sad reality.
They can avoid seeing the blinding truth of the relationship traps they get ensnared in because deeply empathetic people have incredible difficulty accepting how much they really don’t mean to the people who mean so much to them.
They also have a massive fear of being wrong about any extreme negative view - true or not - to them it’s better to take an undeserved beating than give one to a person they misjudged.
They would rather be tormented than cause torment.
They would rather live with SCARS than cause pain to the person disguised as something that appears at times to be more of a DEMON SHREW PERSON constantly tearing us into bloody emotional pieces.
Empaths would much rather forgive than “hold someone accountable” because they know the pain of guilt and shame more than anyone.
They WRONGLY assume narcissists feel anything close to the same anguish over their manipulating actions - If it means engaging in “imagination gymnastics” to avoid hurting the person they love or value greatly - they will happily - usually even repeatedly - make that choice.
Empathetic people believe in living by the creed “WE’D RATHER BE CRUSHED BY BEING TOO TRUSTWORTHY - THAN HOLD BACK AN OUNCE OF LOVE!”
Narcissists are drawn to that kind of heart like a moth to flaming lighthouse built on the face of the Sun.
Users and manipulators everywhere think “Awesome - a stupid ass person willing to be repeatedly ripped to pieces to prove how loving and brave they are! …SWEET!”
Then they say a prayer of thanks to the demon god they worship through the testimony that is their shadow life and keep on tearing good people into shreds of somewhat wiser wounded people.
Empaths also think the inexcusable things they tolerate, excuse, and forgive are strong evidence of our love and undeniable proof of what true devotion will endure.
They assume that deep down in the soul dark soul attached to them like a life-barnacle will be touched, moved, changed, and gloriously transformed one day into a healthy, loving, grateful love-of-their-life.
They are very very wrong.
Deep down manipulators don’t have a “deep down”
Even if they did it would only be filled with a deeper love for themselves. There is no untapped beautiful human tenderness… never the same strain of sacrificing love - especially like the version of love they suck, drain, and demand from anyone cursed to know them to any true degree.
To make it worse, weak-willed, spineless, cowardly churches and even many times family members make the perfect insulators to these joy-vampires.
They tend to excuse the inexcusable WITHOUT a shred of remorse, humility, or atonement of any kind and then call it being a loving Christian.
Which is not only laughable and pathetic it’s a fake horrible version of “love and understanding” which only allows the manipulating narcissist to keep tormenting others and destroying lives under the protection and the shelter of the profoundly stupid, conviction-less uninvested pseudo friends, and spiritual cowards claiming some label of Christ or useless forgiveness that justifies staying at a safe distance and even supporting the evil user as much as the wounded victim.
In the end, the victim has to refuse to stay in that role.
The one being trampled has to stand up and stop tolerating being treated like a worm with the hopes that one day they might be suddenly promoted to an admired and deeply cherished equal.
It will NEVER happen.
And everyone but you already knows it.